attraction 3x ... Is It Really A Choice?

This was an extra long tweet that I wrote last night and I thought I would love to have your opinion on it too!

"Attraction Isn't A Choice" - How true is this statement really? Read away and let me know.

@charleshercules: Well dude I could like go and on about attraction, but let me put it as simply as I can.

Attraction isn't a choice. I believe that for men and women this is very true.

How do you exactly explain it? Well let me give you an example.

Say you have a female friend who is attractive, intelligent and quite frankly you would date her, in fact you like her and WANT to date her.

You are friends and you flirt occasionally and have a really good time together. You think the more time you spend with her, the more things you buy her, the more she is going to like you.

Because lets face it, it makes perfect logical sense.

I mean your a nice guy, she is a sweet girl, heck her parents think you are the bomb! Then what happens? Some dude from somewhere with a bad ass attitude with multiple girlfriends and a player attitude comes along.

Her parents can't stand him, her friends can't stand him and really it seems like the only one that can is your friend (who is a girl). Who just so happens to be infatuated with him. Wants to be with him all the time and experiences the highs and lows of being with a guy who is a challenge, mostly unavailable, stand offish.

Heck he doesn't even treat her as nicely as he should, yet he has her eating out the palm of his hands.

Now I drive this story to the extreme to demonstrate a point. But to be honest, this is a situation that I see fairly often, if not ALL the time.

So what does this have to do with attraction?

Well the very fact that if you sat down with your girl (friend) and asked her what are you looking for in a guy. She would say something like .. Well I want him to be a good guy. Who is sweet, takes care of me and is genuine. I want him to be funny and kind. bla bla bla.

Who does she ACTUALLY date? The guy who is aloof, never has enough time for her, sees her when its convenient and has the emotional availability of a brick.

So is the statement Attraction Isn't A Choice becoming more apparent now?

The truth is, this chick has NO FREAKING IDEA why the heck she is attracted to this other dude, when she has a guy who is fabulous standing right next to her.

What will she say about you? Yeh "you are a really nice guy(kiss of death)" but I just "excuse, excuse, excuse".

Meanwhile you are left dumbfounded as to what just happened and why she would prefer to date a jerk over you.

Now I'm not saying you have to be a jerk to attract a woman. Far from it.

What I am saying is that there is something that these jerks are doing that is creating attraction in the women around them. That’s what it is about.

So there are two components.

First - Attraction isn't a choice

Second - If it isn't a choice, then how can you learn the skill of it and possibly get different results with the women around you?

Ok THAT was a mouthful, would love to hear your thoughts!